| (no subject) |
[Jun. 23rd, 2004|09:36 pm] |
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I don't approve of people I don't approve of using John Mayer lyrics to describe their feelings. Uh-uh, not cool. Mostly these people are asses. Oh geez, I'm feeling so sensitive, let me steal these great sensitive lyrics from perfect man John Mayer. You wish. Totally. Get over it. |
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| Current Crappy Playlist |
[Jun. 5th, 2004|11:10 pm] |
I have been trying to recover a decent MP3 playlist on my computer since the beginning of the semester. When I moved to Jacksonville and tried to hook up a fancy, wireless internet, my computer began the death throes of crashing because of some unknown reason. Uninstalled the wireless internet, and she was fine. In the meantime, I burned all my MP3s into hard copy disk form. Damn. Nothing to listen to. So, I've been gathering some decent or not-so-decent turnes back into my Winamp. The first 20 songs that pop up (and some pertinent lyrics?):
1. Evanescence: My Immortal (NON-rock mix)(I held your hand through all of these years, but you still have all of me)
2. Guster: Two Points For Honesty (You've dreamed a thousand dreams, none seem to stick in your mind)
3. Damien Rice: Cannonball (There's still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed)
4. Britney Spears: Toxic (I got nothin')
5. Avril Lavigne: Home (off the new CD.. too new for me.)
6. Jason Mraz: Stand By Me
7. Bach Cello Prelude #2
8. Maroon 5: Sunday Morning acoustic (share some covers, share some skin)
9. Damien Rice: Lonelily
10. Something Corporate: Konstantine
11. Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Maps
12. John Mayer: Cover of NSYNC's Gone
13. Damien Rice: Cold Water
14. Switchfoot: You
15. Maroon 5: This Love acoustic
16. The Cure: Just like Heaven (I'll run away with you...)
17. Yellowcard: Ocean Avenue
18. Dashboard Confessional: So Impossible
19. Jason Mraz: Right Kind of Phrase
20. Three Days Grace: I Hate Everything About You
Strange stuff, huh? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2004|11:06 pm] |
You know what? I am sick of you walking all over me. Really. I am. I let you stay at my house, FOR FREE, while you eat all my food, sleep in my bed, use my shower, use my washer/dryer, wear my clothes. I understand you needed a place, and I am totally cool with you staying here. I don't mind any of that earlier stuff, if you give me money. I asked for $200, but I said that you could pay what you could. You'd be staying here two weeks longer than me in the next month, and it's stupid for me to pay for you to live here. If you have a money problem, you need to tell me. Don't just stop coming, leaving your fucking mess and clothes and shit everywhere. Have some courtesy. Also, let me know if you're not coming before 11 PM. When you say you're coming up, TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW, and you don't, that pisses me off. I stay up to make sure you get in safe. When I don't have any sort of phone and I rely on internet-based text messages to communicate with you, it's really nice if you let me know before 1130 PM that you're not coming. Or maybe even 1 AM, like last night. That was stupid. I'm not here to be your fucking maid or mommy. If you want to move back into your house and sleep in a goddamn recliner with no room, nothing to "eat", people you hate, fine. I have a flat bed, a shower, "free" food, and a nice house where noone will ever yell at you. I don't understand why you are so fucking shady. "Depression regression" my ass. Take your medicine. It makes you feel better. Don't be a copout. Have a little courtesy and let me know, someone who's generous enough to do all this for you, what your plans are. Don't just not show up. I need you to pay me money if you're going to stay here. I don't have enough money to just lay out $440 for you to live here while I don't. Shit. Not everyone is going to lay down like this for you.
By the way, whoever commented.. you're apparently suspended. I don't know who you are... |
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| Not much... |
[Jun. 5th, 2004|05:27 pm] |
I am sort of back here. Don't know how much I will update, but I am here. I abandoned this project because nearly all of my friends from home were Xanga-ing, so I have a site over there. It's not the same username, so don't try to be clever if you're trying to assimilate yourself into my life.
I graduated.
I am not on tour, and that devastates me.
I must create a drastic plan to get back into shape. It's not *horrid*, but I am uncomfortable. Working out with the kids will help, but that's not a steady pace until August. Gotta get back into it by then. A reasonable goal: 40 pounds by Christmas. I can do it.
Okay, that's enough. Back to studying hold em poker. |
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| *sigh* |
[Dec. 18th, 2002|11:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Hoobastank - Crawling In The Dark (Acoustic) | ] |
The end of the semester.. this sucks.
I was a total slacker this semester, and what did it result in? Shitty grades. 3.20. Yuck. See, this whole obsession with my co-worker took up too much of my time and my thoughts. The next two semesters, I must get a 4.0. There are no options. They must be 4.0s. I've dropped below 3.7 and that is NOT good. Ugh.
So people are dropping out of Santa Clara daily. I get so annoyed because I guess I feel as if they are giving up on the situation. It's mostly guard people, and with the new staff, people are finding an easier out than just quitting outright. Their hearts aren't in it, they wouldn't feel good enough, etc. Honestly, that's all just a cop out. To have so many years or seasons ahead of you then to just pitch them aside because you just don't feel like it.. It makes me hurt because I would love to have that many season. I only get two, I'm only able to do it twice... but they're able to do it for so long.. It just pissses me off. I don't know what I'm going to do. Last night, when I found out our captain isn't marching, it just broke my heart. I wanted to cry. Now, I'm just angry. Where I'll be tomorrow, noone knows. Just.. frickin' frustrated!
Two nights ago, I took L2 to the airport to go to Chicago.. Stayed up all night, had dinner and a movie, took a nap on his couch while he fretted around packing. Yes, it was at 5 in the morning, but still.. We hugged, said have a nice break, etc. I really think it's just a friendship.. so I'm going to be over it.. until break is over. Ugh. Whatever.
Hmmm.. what else to update.. oh NOTHING. Just have to pack and then it's peace out Tally until January 5th. Thank the Lord, it's break time. |
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| Hmmm.. |
[Dec. 11th, 2002|11:45 pm] |
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Seems lately that I've been reevaluating what I want in my life... for the thousandth time. As soon as I want to draw away from L2, I realize that I completely and totally enjoy being around him. As soon as I think I've avoided P and that he's happy with someone else, it's another cog in the wheel. I wish decisions could just be made, that I could be with someone and life would be great. I just want someone to be here when I get home, for me to call, to watch TV with, to just be myself with. Tonight, driving home from Outback, I heard two songs I hadn't heard in a while... One More Day (Diamod Rio) and I'm Already There (Lonestar).. I was listening to Johnny and some how, my hand drifted down to the radio and to the country station. I knew there was a reason, because here came those songs.. Then, I remembered that today is December 9th, 16 months to the day since L1 passed. Every day that goes by I think about him, that I miss him and wish he was here. True, we didn't see each other that much and we weren't physically connected, but mentally and emotionally were incredible. And the times when we were close were some of the most amazing moments.. I miss him so much and I wish that I could find someone that I connected to like that.. I never questioned my love for him, or his love for me until it was over. I always thought we'd be together, that once I was here at school, we'd be together a lot more... All I wanted was to be with him, to love him, and for that to be my purpose. I want that again, but I don't know how or with whom. I lived to love him, and now that he's gone, a part of me drifts away as long as I continue to live for him. What I wouldn't give to wake up tomorrow and have it be August 10th, 2001 and for him to be alive, or for it to be December 10th, 2002 and to have him be sleeping at my side in this house. What I wouldn't give, sacrifice, cast away or whatever would be asked of me. I know he's happy, and I know he's with God, and I know he's here with me in my good times and bad times. I know he was with me tonight, to get me to hear those songs, and I miss him like crazy.. *sigh* I want to be in love. |
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| I hate having no money. |
[Nov. 19th, 2002|11:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | fucking tired. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Avril Lavigne - Complicated | ] |
Actually, I just hate people. I'm in a bad mood today, because I woke up at 7:30 for absolutely no goddamned reason. Anyway, pretty picture for you..
What Type Of Retro Gal Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| I'm fucking bored. |
[Nov. 13th, 2002|10:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Jamiroquai - Just Dance (Center Stage Soundtrack) | ] |
1. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: Eyes, smile
2. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: If I felt they were qualified and Republican enough
3. Would you marry for money?: Maybe, but probably not
4. Have you had braces?: Oh yes. I was a thumb sucking queen.
( Read more... ) |
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| Here's the verdict... |
[Nov. 11th, 2002|04:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | mental | ] |
| [ | music |
| | John Mayer - Love Soon | ] |
Human cloning...
It's okay by me as long as I get a John Mayer. That's all. Perfect replica of Version 1.0 John. *swoons* I wouldn't know what to do with myself..it'd be like winning an exorbitant amount of money in a lottery... You have all the plans in the world when you don't have it, but once it's yours, you're lost in the esctasy of having a dream come true. Really. That's how it would be.
Still confused in terms of boys.. L2.. H.. L2... H.. John.. John.. John.. :) Stupid.
Justin Timberlake is also not too hard on the eyes, and is a phenomenal dancer. I just might go buy his new CD.. Hmm.. |
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| What I did yesterday for my physical fitness.... |
[Nov. 7th, 2002|08:27 am] |
What I ate:
9AM: Cup of black coffee and a chocolate chip scone
1230PM: French onion soup in a bread bowl and a coke
300PM: Vanilla ice cream with carmel and whipped cream (BAD!!)
800PM: Maruchan Instant Ramen Lunch and a big water
600PM: Run/Walked for 70 minutes.
I'm getting there. Gotta get that post-tour fat off. :) |
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| *sigh* |
[Nov. 3rd, 2002|10:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | smitten | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Northern Sky - Nick Drake | ] |
There are very few people that affect me in this way...
The way you smiled at me
How you turned your body towards me as we sat there talking and watching
Your hand on the back of my neck
Teasing me about one of my pet peeves
How you grabbed the shoulder of my sweater so you could pull me back to whisper in my ear
Your smile
How you make bootleg recordings of everything
You calling me when I hit the curb to laugh at me
Things I don't like...
You living nine hours away
Not being able to tell you how I feel because it's illogical
But the good feelings still outweigh the bad.. You're one of the best people I know and I can't wait to see you again, Brent. |
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| First Day of Cold.... |
[Nov. 1st, 2002|02:39 pm] |
What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
That is so me.. how cute. :)
On an aside... There are a lot of stupid people in my music ed rotation. I don't fathom how these people are ever going to be teachers without killing themselves. They are all into thinking and debating about stupid stuff, but they aren't actually teaching or learning how to teach. Dense people bug me. Three words: get over yourself. :)
Dateline: October 31: Jen discovers she will talk about anything while behind the wheel of a car. Don't use this to your advantage. :) |
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| Is this wrong? |
[Oct. 29th, 2002|08:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sense Field - Save Yourself | ] |
Is it wrong to feel disgust when someone who told you a few weeks ago that they will always love you and compare every woman he sees to you, everything down to the inner core of his being, everything.. that he is now seeing everything in another girl? I don't understand how messed up people can be.. Once minute, he's a teetolator that's concentrating on doing well in school. The next, he's a foolhardy drunkard looking for an immediate gratification in everything. I don't get it. Well, lesson be learned: Don't beleive everything everyone says and really only look out for yourself. Done and done. |
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| General thoughts... |
[Oct. 16th, 2002|10:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dirty Vegas - Days go by | ] |
I love my family. They do so much to help me get through what I need to get through.. Paying for college, helping with drum corps, and in general supporting anything that I choose to do. Not many people have the family situation I have, and while it was hard at points, I love them all. My family is incredible.
John Mayer's video for Your Body is a Wonderland should be illegal. That little five minute video makes me want to hunt him down and stalk him until he is mine. He is so beautiful, earnest, intelligent, sweet, that *mouth*, his guitar, the eyes.. It's out of control. He's amazing.
I need to have some better sleep habits. And eating habits. And exercising habits.
Naps are the best tool to feeling better.
Unexpected phone calls from your crush are always a good thing. :) |
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| Stupid Survey. |
[Oct. 11th, 2002|11:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Green Day - Time of Your Life | ] |
Love, Life & Friends
-What is the first thing you notice about someone?: eyes and smile together
-When's the last time you cried?: Wednesday on the way to Lincoln.. just got overwhelmed for a second
-What do you want to be when you grow up?: successful and complete
-Do you sleep with stuffed animals?: No. Not enough room with all the pillows.
-How far have you gotten?: Blah...little too touchy there
-Do you like someone right now?: Yes.
-Do they know?: Apparently not. My friends got a big kick out of letting me know this on Thursday, telling me how "bullshit" I am
-Do you have a best friend?: Lots of them
( Read more... ) |
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| Hooray for DMB |
[Oct. 7th, 2002|10:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | DMB W/ Phish and Guster - Say Goodbye (accoustic) | ] |
December 10: Tampa
December 11: Atlanta
BOO YAH FINALS WEEK. I <3 DMB :) |
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