No More 3x5s

cowboycliche @ 2004-06-23T21:36:00

2004-06-24T01:37:18Z

I don't approve of people I don't approve of using John Mayer lyrics to describe their feelings. Uh-uh, not cool. Mostly these people are asses. Oh geez, I'm feeling so sensitive, let me steal these great sensitive lyrics from perfect man John Mayer. You wish. Totally. Get over it.

cowboycliche @ 2004-06-09T11:35:00

2004-06-09T15:35:54Z

cowboycliche may explode without warning

M
EXPLOSIVE

From Go-Quiz.com

Current Crappy Playlist

2004-06-06T03:18:38Z

I have been trying to recover a decent MP3 playlist on my computer since the beginning of the semester. When I moved to Jacksonville and tried to hook up a fancy, wireless internet, my computer began the death throes of crashing because of some unknown reason. Uninstalled the wireless internet, and she was fine. In the meantime, I burned all my MP3s into hard copy disk form. Damn. Nothing to listen to. So, I've been gathering some decent or not-so-decent turnes back into my Winamp. The first 20 songs that pop up (and some pertinent lyrics?):

1. Evanescence: My Immortal (NON-rock mix)(I held your hand through all of these years, but you still have all of me)
2. Guster: Two Points For Honesty (You've dreamed a thousand dreams, none seem to stick in your mind)
3. Damien Rice: Cannonball (There's still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed)
4. Britney Spears: Toxic (I got nothin')
5. Avril Lavigne: Home (off the new CD.. too new for me.)
6. Jason Mraz: Stand By Me
7. Bach Cello Prelude #2
8. Maroon 5: Sunday Morning acoustic (share some covers, share some skin)
9. Damien Rice: Lonelily
10. Something Corporate: Konstantine
11. Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Maps
12. John Mayer: Cover of NSYNC's Gone
13. Damien Rice: Cold Water
14. Switchfoot: You
15. Maroon 5: This Love acoustic
16. The Cure: Just like Heaven (I'll run away with you...)
17. Yellowcard: Ocean Avenue
18. Dashboard Confessional: So Impossible
19. Jason Mraz: Right Kind of Phrase
20. Three Days Grace: I Hate Everything About You

Strange stuff, huh?

cowboycliche @ 2004-06-05T23:06:00

2004-06-06T03:06:53Z

You know what? I am sick of you walking all over me. Really. I am. I let you stay at my house, FOR FREE, while you eat all my food, sleep in my bed, use my shower, use my washer/dryer, wear my clothes. I understand you needed a place, and I am totally cool with you staying here. I don't mind any of that earlier stuff, if you give me money. I asked for $200, but I said that you could pay what you could. You'd be staying here two weeks longer than me in the next month, and it's stupid for me to pay for you to live here. If you have a money problem, you need to tell me. Don't just stop coming, leaving your fucking mess and clothes and shit everywhere. Have some courtesy. Also, let me know if you're not coming before 11 PM. When you say you're coming up, TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW, and you don't, that pisses me off. I stay up to make sure you get in safe. When I don't have any sort of phone and I rely on internet-based text messages to communicate with you, it's really nice if you let me know before 1130 PM that you're not coming. Or maybe even 1 AM, like last night. That was stupid. I'm not here to be your fucking maid or mommy. If you want to move back into your house and sleep in a goddamn recliner with no room, nothing to "eat", people you hate, fine. I have a flat bed, a shower, "free" food, and a nice house where noone will ever yell at you. I don't understand why you are so fucking shady. "Depression regression" my ass. Take your medicine. It makes you feel better. Don't be a copout. Have a little courtesy and let me know, someone who's generous enough to do all this for you, what your plans are. Don't just not show up. I need you to pay me money if you're going to stay here. I don't have enough money to just lay out $440 for you to live here while I don't. Shit. Not everyone is going to lay down like this for you.

By the way, whoever commented.. you're apparently suspended. I don't know who you are...

Not much...

2004-06-05T21:29:07Z

I am sort of back here. Don't know how much I will update, but I am here. I abandoned this project because nearly all of my friends from home were Xanga-ing, so I have a site over there. It's not the same username, so don't try to be clever if you're trying to assimilate yourself into my life.

I graduated.

I am not on tour, and that devastates me.

I must create a drastic plan to get back into shape. It's not *horrid*, but I am uncomfortable. Working out with the kids will help, but that's not a steady pace until August. Gotta get back into it by then. A reasonable goal: 40 pounds by Christmas. I can do it.

Okay, that's enough. Back to studying hold em poker.

sigh

2002-12-19T04:05:47Z

The end of the semester.. this sucks.

I was a total slacker this semester, and what did it result in? Shitty grades. 3.20. Yuck. See, this whole obsession with my co-worker took up too much of my time and my thoughts. The next two semesters, I must get a 4.0. There are no options. They must be 4.0s. I've dropped below 3.7 and that is NOT good. Ugh.

So people are dropping out of Santa Clara daily. I get so annoyed because I guess I feel as if they are giving up on the situation. It's mostly guard people, and with the new staff, people are finding an easier out than just quitting outright. Their hearts aren't in it, they wouldn't feel good enough, etc. Honestly, that's all just a cop out. To have so many years or seasons ahead of you then to just pitch them aside because you just don't feel like it.. It makes me hurt because I would love to have that many season. I only get two, I'm only able to do it twice... but they're able to do it for so long.. It just pissses me off. I don't know what I'm going to do. Last night, when I found out our captain isn't marching, it just broke my heart. I wanted to cry. Now, I'm just angry. Where I'll be tomorrow, noone knows. Just.. frickin' frustrated!

Two nights ago, I took L2 to the airport to go to Chicago.. Stayed up all night, had dinner and a movie, took a nap on his couch while he fretted around packing. Yes, it was at 5 in the morning, but still.. We hugged, said have a nice break, etc. I really think it's just a friendship.. so I'm going to be over it.. until break is over. Ugh. Whatever.

Hmmm.. what else to update.. oh NOTHING. Just have to pack and then it's peace out Tally until January 5th. Thank the Lord, it's break time.

Hell-looo? Does this tell you something?

2002-12-14T05:25:34Z

I mean, let's wake up and smell the coffee coolatta.

You Are A Juicy Kisser!

Your lips are totally kissable baby, and you know how to use them.

You are the perfect kisser - with the right combo of lips and tongue.

It's important to flaunt it, so kiss early and often on dates!

How Do *You* Kiss?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

That's right...

2002-12-12T06:17:50Z

Which DCI Drum Corps are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmmm..

2002-12-10T04:44:56Z

Seems lately that I've been reevaluating what I want in my life... for the thousandth time. As soon as I want to draw away from L2, I realize that I completely and totally enjoy being around him. As soon as I think I've avoided P and that he's happy with someone else, it's another cog in the wheel. I wish decisions could just be made, that I could be with someone and life would be great. I just want someone to be here when I get home, for me to call, to watch TV with, to just be myself with. Tonight, driving home from Outback, I heard two songs I hadn't heard in a while... One More Day (Diamod Rio) and I'm Already There (Lonestar).. I was listening to Johnny and some how, my hand drifted down to the radio and to the country station. I knew there was a reason, because here came those songs.. Then, I remembered that today is December 9th, 16 months to the day since L1 passed. Every day that goes by I think about him, that I miss him and wish he was here. True, we didn't see each other that much and we weren't physically connected, but mentally and emotionally were incredible. And the times when we were close were some of the most amazing moments.. I miss him so much and I wish that I could find someone that I connected to like that.. I never questioned my love for him, or his love for me until it was over. I always thought we'd be together, that once I was here at school, we'd be together a lot more... All I wanted was to be with him, to love him, and for that to be my purpose. I want that again, but I don't know how or with whom. I lived to love him, and now that he's gone, a part of me drifts away as long as I continue to live for him. What I wouldn't give to wake up tomorrow and have it be August 10th, 2001 and for him to be alive, or for it to be December 10th, 2002 and to have him be sleeping at my side in this house. What I wouldn't give, sacrifice, cast away or whatever would be asked of me. I know he's happy, and I know he's with God, and I know he's here with me in my good times and bad times. I know he was with me tonight, to get me to hear those songs, and I miss him like crazy.. *sigh* I want to be in love.

I hate having no money.

2002-11-20T04:26:07Z

Actually, I just hate people. I'm in a bad mood today, because I woke up at 7:30 for absolutely no goddamned reason. Anyway, pretty picture for you..

What Type Of Retro Gal Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm fucking bored.

2002-11-14T03:52:26Z

1. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: Eyes, smile
2. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: If I felt they were qualified and Republican enough
3. Would you marry for money?: Maybe, but probably not
4. Have you had braces?: Oh yes. I was a thumb sucking queen.

5. Do you pluck your eyebrows?: Obsessively.
6. Do you ever cut or hurt yourself?: I cut myself all the time, especially with my sabre. It's bad news.
7. When was the last time you had a hickey?: Umm.. never. That's just a gross MS thing to do
8. Could you live without a computer?: Of course. It would suck, but I could do it.
9. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc..?: AIM, AOL, blah
10. If so, how many people are on your list(s)?: Too many, and lots I don't even friggin talk to
11. If you could live in any past time period, which would it be?: Hmm.. 1950s
12. Do you drink enough water?: Almost, but not really.
13. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: Both. In my house, no shoes
14. What is your favorite fruit?: Grapes all the way
15. Do you eat wheat bread or white?: White, usually
16. What is your favorite place to visit?: Home, then North Carolina, then California!
17. What is the last movie you saw?: 8 Mile.. not too bad
18. Do you kiss on the first date?: What is this date you speak of?
19. Are you photogenic?: Um.. no.
20. Do you dream in color or black and white?: Usually color.Every once and a while, I"ll have some beautiful and artistic black and white dream.. it's like Herb Ritts
21. Are you wearing fingernail polish?: Red on my toes
22. Do you have any dimples?: Not really.
23. Do you remember being born?: No, I don't.. I don't remember yesterday too welll
24. Why do you take surveys?: Because I'm so bored. All the time
25. Do you drink alcohol?: Yes, but only if it's fruity or caramelly.. no beer for me
26. Did you like or do you like high school?: It was oaky. More secure than college
27. What is the most beautiful language?: French. :)
28. When you are asleep do you like being kissed awake?: No. I hate that. honestly,I do.
29. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: Sunset. I never want to be awake for a sunrise
30. Do you want to live to be 100?: I want to live forever at the age of 26.
31. Do you think women should be expected to shave their body hair?: Yes, because it's disgusting. I fucking shave my feet, okay?
32. Do you like salty food or sugary food the most?: sugary. *drool*
33. Is a flat stomach important to you?: Somewhat. But I'm willing to over look
34. Do you or have you played with a Ouija board?:I have before. I don't really like them
35. Are you loyal?: I try to be, I really do.
36. Are you tolerant of other people's beliefs?: Not really. I'm a Republican for Christ's sake
37. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?:OFF. Are you kidding?
38. Do you believe in magic?: Nope.
39. Do you have nightmares frequently?: Every once in a while, but it never jolts me awake
40. Do you like your nose?: No, but I'm not sure what's wrong with it.
41. Do you like abstract art?: I heart art
42. Do you think you can draw well?: If you're looking for stick figures or guard equipment or uniforms
43. Do you listen to music daily?: Umm.. I'm a music major. Are you kidding me?
44. Do you like to watch cartoons?: Sometimes..
45. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?: I'm not sure if I ever did...
46. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?: 13, I think.
47. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?: I like variety, but mostly, I'll match my flip flops to my outfit, unless its winrter, then it's boots for me
48. Do you write poetry?: I used to write a form of it, but I stopped
49. Do you snore?: No, but I talk in my sleep, and laugh really weirdly.
50. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?: lMostly on my stomach, all cuddled up
51. Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?:Neither. Give me a bebe terrier
52. Do you lick stamps?: Nope. Self stick lazy ass kind
53. Do you use an electric can opener?: Nope, hand=operated
54. Have you ridden in a hot air balloon?: No, but that would be a sweet thing
55. Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?: Physical
56. Do you think balding men should shave their heads?: Hmmm.. depends on how it looks
57. Do you know anyone who is clinically depressed?: Probably.
58. Do you prefer a piano or a violin?: PIANO. Fucking violin is the bane of my existence
59. Are you a sex addict?:Um... depends on how you define it.
60. Do you know someone who has cancer?: Yes. Lost one to it.
61. Do you hunt?: No, but I do want a gun
62. Do you like fast food joints, or expensive restaurants?: Both. Depends on my mood.. usually like to cook myself
63. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?: Art museum
64. Do you have a middle name?: Nicole
65. Are you basically a happy person?:I suppose.. I like to laugh, so I guess
66. Are you tired?: I am always tired
67. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?: Yes, A few Cokes.
68. Have you ever met anyone off the Internet?: Yes. Stupid, stupid, stupid
69. How many phones do you have in your house?: I dont' know. I only have my cell, but I'm sure my roomates have at least 4 between them
70. How long is your hair?:down to the middle of my shoulder blades
71. Do you get along with your parents?: Yes, and I'm glad, after all these yeards
72. What color of eyes do you prefer?: Bright bright blue or green
73. Are you an active person? Yes, but I like to eat more than I am active :)
74. What medications do you take?: painkillers, that's all
75. What does your bedroom look like?: A jumble of all that encompassses me: music, marching stuff, photoraphy, school things, collections, etc.

Here's the verdict...

2002-11-11T21:51:00Z

Human cloning...

It's okay by me as long as I get a John Mayer. That's all. Perfect replica of Version 1.0 John. *swoons* I wouldn't know what to do with myself..it'd be like winning an exorbitant amount of money in a lottery... You have all the plans in the world when you don't have it, but once it's yours, you're lost in the esctasy of having a dream come true. Really. That's how it would be.

Still confused in terms of boys.. L2.. H.. L2... H.. John.. John.. John.. :) Stupid.

Justin Timberlake is also not too hard on the eyes, and is a phenomenal dancer. I just might go buy his new CD.. Hmm..

What I did yesterday for my physical fitness....

2002-11-07T13:27:27Z

What I ate:

9AM: Cup of black coffee and a chocolate chip scone
1230PM: French onion soup in a bread bowl and a coke
300PM: Vanilla ice cream with carmel and whipped cream (BAD!!)
800PM: Maruchan Instant Ramen Lunch and a big water

600PM: Run/Walked for 70 minutes.

I'm getting there. Gotta get that post-tour fat off. :)

sigh

2002-11-04T03:03:31Z

There are very few people that affect me in this way...

The way you smiled at me
How you turned your body towards me as we sat there talking and watching
Your hand on the back of my neck
Teasing me about one of my pet peeves
How you grabbed the shoulder of my sweater so you could pull me back to whisper in my ear
Your smile
How you make bootleg recordings of everything
You calling me when I hit the curb to laugh at me

Things I don't like...
You living nine hours away
Not being able to tell you how I feel because it's illogical

But the good feelings still outweigh the bad.. You're one of the best people I know and I can't wait to see you again, Brent.

First Day of Cold....

2002-11-01T19:39:30Z

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

That is so me.. how cute. :)

On an aside... There are a lot of stupid people in my music ed rotation. I don't fathom how these people are ever going to be teachers without killing themselves. They are all into thinking and debating about stupid stuff, but they aren't actually teaching or learning how to teach. Dense people bug me. Three words: get over yourself. :)

Dateline: October 31: Jen discovers she will talk about anything while behind the wheel of a car. Don't use this to your advantage. :)

Is this wrong?

2002-10-30T01:33:31Z

Is it wrong to feel disgust when someone who told you a few weeks ago that they will always love you and compare every woman he sees to you, everything down to the inner core of his being, everything.. that he is now seeing everything in another girl? I don't understand how messed up people can be.. Once minute, he's a teetolator that's concentrating on doing well in school. The next, he's a foolhardy drunkard looking for an immediate gratification in everything. I don't get it. Well, lesson be learned: Don't beleive everything everyone says and really only look out for yourself. Done and done.

General thoughts...

2002-10-17T02:36:41Z

I love my family. They do so much to help me get through what I need to get through.. Paying for college, helping with drum corps, and in general supporting anything that I choose to do. Not many people have the family situation I have, and while it was hard at points, I love them all. My family is incredible.

John Mayer's video for Your Body is a Wonderland should be illegal. That little five minute video makes me want to hunt him down and stalk him until he is mine. He is so beautiful, earnest, intelligent, sweet, that *mouth*, his guitar, the eyes.. It's out of control. He's amazing.

I need to have some better sleep habits. And eating habits. And exercising habits.

Naps are the best tool to feeling better.

Unexpected phone calls from your crush are always a good thing. :)

Stupid Survey.

2002-10-12T03:32:44Z

Love, Life & Friends
-What is the first thing you notice about someone?: eyes and smile together
-When's the last time you cried?: Wednesday on the way to Lincoln.. just got overwhelmed for a second
-What do you want to be when you grow up?: successful and complete
-Do you sleep with stuffed animals?: No. Not enough room with all the pillows.
-How far have you gotten?: Blah...little too touchy there
-Do you like someone right now?: Yes.
-Do they know?: Apparently not. My friends got a big kick out of letting me know this on Thursday, telling me how "bullshit" I am
-Do you have a best friend?: Lots of them

*Do you like to...*
-Do you like to give hugs? Oh yes. I just use it sparingly.
-Give back rubs?: Rookie talent! :)
-Take walks in the rain?: Not a big fan of being in the rain and not rehearsing
-Do you ever have one of those falling dream?: Every once and awhile.
-What is on the walls of your room?: Posters, pictures, stuff from guard and corps, a SCV show flag
-When you chew gum, wha kind?: anything mint or juicy fruit
-Do you use chap stick?: DCT

*In the last month have/did you...*
-Drink?: Yes, with my girl Erin.. just a ltitle
-Smoke?: Nope
-Drugs?: Nope
-Have Sex?: No...
-Made Out?: *sigh* no.
-Go on a date?: I'm not sure..
-Go to the mall?: Um.. I think so.
-Eaten sushi?: Yuck.. Don't like it
-Been on stage?: Not yet, but I will Monday
-Been dumped?: No
-Had someone unfaithful to you?: Noone in my life in that capacity
-Watched The Smurfs?: nope
-Hiked a mountain?: I live in Florida...
-Made homemade cookies?: I made the dough?
-Been in love?: Umm. I sort of always am and will be, but it's not in the front of my head, like it consumes me like an active love.Make sense?

*More stuff...*
-Are you popular?: Sort of?
-Are you pretty?: Sort of?
-What is your favorite word to say: theoretically
-What is your favorite phrase to say?: "However comma..", "I'm not going to lie...",
"I mean, are you kidding me?"
-what are you doing right now?: survey, listening to Starting Line
-What song are you listening to?: TSL cover of I'm Real
-What are you wearing?: dark jeans, blue shirt with a keyhole and flower stiching

*Preferences-pick.*
1. Cold or hot?: Cold
2. Lace or satin?: satin
3. Blue or Red?: blue all the way always
4. New or old?: new
5. Rain or snow?: *sigh* snow...
6. Give or receive?: Both, sort of
7. Wool or cotton?: cotton.. hooray
8. Rose or Daisy?: pink rose
9. Private school or public school?: I don't know.. private, maybe.
10. Chocolate milk or plain milk? plain
11. Celsius or Fahrenheit?: F: America.
12. Spring or Fall?: Oh, fall. I think it's much more romantic
13. Inny or outty?: innnn. :)
14. Now or then?: Whew.. then, I think.
15. How many fingers am I holding up?: four
16. Scent?: drakkar noir, tommy, CURVE, whatever Sean wears, anything that smells good
17. English or Math?: oh God, math
18. Bath or shower?: shower, usually
19. Bedtime phrase?: Thank the Lord I love my bed
20. Self-stick or lick?: self-stick
21. Cursive or print?: print
22. Do you like surprises?: not really.. I'm a planner
23. Paranoid or Cautious?: paranoid
24. Heights or Crowds?: heights
25. Half-full or half-empty?: I have a drink?
26. Top or bottom?: bottom
27. do you/Would you dye your hair?: No, not ever again
28. Speeding or running red lights?: lol speeding, duh.
29. Gold or silver?: Platinum...
30. Bad habits?: Not sleeping, telling lies, snacking
31. Piercing?: one, my upper cartiale
32. Erogenous Zone(s)?: Umm.. it's been too long, so I don't know
33. "Maybe" or "Mebbe?": maybe
35. What do you wish you'd done?: Many things.
36. Fetish?: Umm.. a nice guy. Not too hard
37. Do you have one of THOSE voices?:A squeaky one? no.
38. Jammies or naked?: Some form of pajama
39. Neurotic or psychotic?: Probably neurotic
40. Do you talk to yourself?: I don't tink so.

*past..*
first grade teacher's name: Mrs. Jewell
last word you said: Tired
last song you sang: Back to You, John Mayer
what's in your cd player: John Mayer
what color socks are you wearing: Barefoot
what's under your bed: I don't think anything.. my Pooh collection is around the bottom, though
what time did you wake up today: 9 or so
where do you want to go: back to bed for the weekend, out with Sean
where are you going to live: wherever I get a job
how many kids do you want: probably none
what kind of car will you have: Don't care

*Current..*
current mood: tired
current taste: peanut butter cookie dough
current hair: up in a bun
current smell: warm vanilla sugar
current longing: someone to love
current desktop picture: John Mayer in a red sweater and blue jeans sitting in a chair and looking hot
current favorite artist: John Mayer then Nick Drake
current color of toenails: deep red
current worry: I'm gaining my tour weight back...
current hate: cleaning.

Oooh boy..

2002-10-11T20:31:47Z

What's Your Sexual MO? Find out @ She's Crafty

Hooray for DMB

2002-10-08T02:56:28Z

December 10: Tampa
December 11: Atlanta

BOO YAH FINALS WEEK. I <3 DMB :)

Monday, Monday

2002-10-08T02:42:25Z

Not too much to update today..

My Elementary Ed presentation was pushed back another day after the confusion on Wednesday of last week.

I'm getting this weird vibe at school when I teach. Things are told to me through my students and not through the director. I suppose they feel I'm incompetent or something, I'm not sure. It's frustrating to hear that the band director is getting onto my girls without speaking to me first or at least telling me he's going to speak with them. To have other people undermine the authority I have over my students sucks. I know what Sean means when he says that he's not sure what he does for the band because the director doesn't really validate our purpose in being there. If I ever say anything of merit during rehearsal, he'll repeat it *verbatim* back to the students, as if I didn't even say it. I don't understand that sort of technique, but whatever.

Practiced today for a couple of hours here and there put together. It's funny now.. every time I practice late at night, I half-hope that Sean will be there. This obsession is starting to become strange, it alters my thoughts..

Had an interesting conversation with P last night about my need for another person. He was telling me that I need to be comfortable with myself, love myself, etc before any of that can be directed to anyone else... and that I shouldn't really make any choices or decisions in the process point I am now. He thinks I'm crushing too hard for L2. Sometimes I really long for him, though, for P, because sometimes his presence calms me. But that is just about one in a million times. Other than that, I'm walking carefully, tiptoeing around any sort of confrontational subject or anything that speaks my mind. I just smile and nod and let him be crazy. Those longing times don't last very long, and generally they are longing for the words he writes. I think maybe I just need a darn boy, and hopefully that will start soon.

Well, I have an 8 tomorrow, psychology, so I probably should head to bed after washing the face and all that good stuff. Later on..

A Brand New Day

2002-10-06T22:47:31Z

Ah, the beginning of a new journal... I feel much better about this situation..

Today seems like a new beginning for me in terms of this weekend. I had dinner with L2 on Friday and just hanging out with him and things he said realize that I've been very very stupid over the past few years, continuing to make poor personal and social choices. I made the choice to change yesterday, and it feels great. Peace out old website, old LJ, old mentality. I choose to be happy and care about myself. I hope this changes everything, and I think it will. Plus, the way he told me I seemed to be like last year (for example, mean, angry, upset, mad, all the time.. ) and how different I am this year.. it made me want to be better. And not just for him because of how I feel about him, but for my own benefit as well. Well, we'll see how this goes. I need to finish some cleaning and to do some homework.